Memory of a broken past

I can't help watching this mv over and over again. The lead actor face remind me of someone who is so dear to me. He looked exactly like 'him'. I couldn't help to be shocked and in tears the 1st time I watched this mv. And till now, it still bring tears to me. 'He' thought me how to fall in love. Although I lost 'him' forever and I have no chance to ever see him again, I still have memories of 'him' that I hold on till now. It's been 7 years and I still remember how 'he' looked like. :(

I mentioned in my post "Grief" before of 'him'.

For my elephant

A new start is always frightening,
But at least this time I truly believe its LOVE,
I rather try to act to be happy than a painful break up
You and I had promise eternity and work on it

My frequent interest and request may give you pressures
U might be annoyed of long calls I don't want to hang up
U might call the expanding love of mine as obsession
As time goes by I'm getting smaller

Since u are a man, u wouldn't understand.
Since I'm lacking, since I'm foolish, I'm only looking at u
Since u are a man, u don't understand me
U probably just want to be free, u probably won't be able to change

When you are not next to me my heart feel empty even if u call
Why is that your words " I LOVE U" don't sound the same as before
The long waits are getting harder and harder
I felt as if I have nothing to give anymore
I think of giving up hundreds of times

I feel uneasy and can't sleep until u fall asleep
I go crazy when I can't contact you
I'm not a woman who expects many things
But I collapse from one of your action and your inattentive words
But since you're my man I still love you

Grief

Grief is the one thing that we need to deal with when someone around us or whom we know just left this world like that. No one knows what is gonna happen next. Life is like a candle, some lights up till then end and some are off half way through.

I lost someone I loved very dearly in a car accident before. I was at the lowest point of my life at that time. Nobody knew what I went through and how I felt. I was at grief for almost a year and I'd withdraw myself from friends. My friends could not understand how it feels so that makes them think I'm EMO or weird at that point of life. They walked away from me after some time. But some do stays.

The amount of pain that I felt in my heart was so great that I thought of ending my life. But I could not bear to leave my family esp my mum who loves me so much. I took one year to heal my pain and changed my thoughts. I think it's very bad and selfish of me to just end my life that way when some other who wishes to live on does not even get that 2nd chance.

But my past had made me stronger for sure. I looked at things differently. I will never give up on love if the person is worth all the space in my heart. I know the joy of having a complete family who love me dearly although my dad has stroke. Therefore, I tried my best to enjoy every moments with them. Life is not bout the length but it's the things that we did with our loved ones that we can hold close to our heart. It's how we live and see each day of our life. We shall be grateful to heavenly GOD and our parents who give us chance to see this world and live each day. There maybe time of ups and downs but we should be glad cause sometimes we feel the pain and that makes us more human.

We grief for our lost but I'm sure after sometime, we shall heal and stand up and walk again. All we can do is just remember all those great times we had with them until eternity.