Love

As much as I try to keep my personal life private, there's one thing I want to share with you. I broke up with my bf of 5 years few months back. I realize one thing towards the end of that. You can never expect a person to love us as much as we can love ourselves. Believe it or not? We only met like once in 3 years time. Been in along distance relationship for the past 3 years. He's from another country so he often gave me the excuse of he has big responsibility towards his family and business. He just doesn't want to be there for me. I took it in for that 3 years and swallow all the pain in. My family has been telling me that he's not the right one for me but I try to stand on my ground. I was stubborn to listen to them until one day, I realize that why should I even make my parent worry bout me and that guy is not even worth it.

He still think he's right though as he has high ego. But whatever it is. he lost me for sure. He never try to be here for me so he'll never be here for me at all. Whatever is gone, it's gone. I will take it as a lesson but I still believe in love. :) My family show me ample of it. :) Everything seems to happen for a reason and I feel much happier now being single than being with someone who always make me feel like I'm nothing to him. I know my self worth. Although I'm not perfect, but I do still I deserve someone who love me and care about me. :)

MIA

don't think too hard
if you think it hurts that bad
don't talk about it ,
don't let it get you down
it's only one part of the story
just let it go ,
don't let it bring you down
now ..

Sorry for going MIA for so long. :) Guess what? It's about time for MC JIN's concert
:)
 Love love and adore him. :) He's simply one of the best rapper around who can rap in canto and english. :) And of course, he resemble a bit like HIM. :)

Nyway, I have half year more before my PHD contract end. Phew!~ 3 years past just like that. I still in the journey. I am so lucky to have a great supervisor.

New beginning

Sorry that I went missing in action for a very long time.Today is the 10th day of Chinese New Year for the year of dragon. I'm still in Kuching and will only be going back on the 12th of Feb. I've been staying at home almost everyday. I didn't even feel like going out. Call me lazy haha.. Maybe I'll meet up with some of my friends this week.

Guess what? It'll be 366 days to the next chinese new year. Well, I'm dread of getting older but time can never go back. 2011 was a depressing year for me. Wasn't a good one. I didn't feel well physically and emotionally. I hope this year will be better. As i grew older, I feel that I've been thinking a lot more about life.

I hope that I can complete my studies this year and get my doctorate degree. I guess my blog is a boring one. haha.. Just a space for me to voice out my emotion and thoughts.

I think mind is a very powerful thing. Once something bad gets into it, it can suck the life out of ours. I've learned a great deal last year. Unconsciously, I had planted fear and negative thoughts in my mind, and little did I know I've been wasting my time thinking bout it and let all the good things pass me by. I realize that I've been digging a black hole on the ground and bury myself in it. The more negative thoughts and fear I have, the deeper the black hole gets. I realize that I'm self destructing and this is not the right way to live my life. I began to think of happiness around me. I told myself that I should love myself more. Not to call me selfish but to get myself back on track.

Then, towards 2012, I began to see the light that pull me back to life. I believe that when you can't change things, accept them. God only give us the best and let us handle things that we are capable of. Have more faith.