Christmass

I'm back home.. :) I'm thinking of uploading my pics but not now, kinda lazy and i'm trying to lsoe some weight here. haha but since i'm in kch, i guess it'll be hard. My family esp my mum has been trying to feed me with lots of nice food. tempting :P

Nyway, be having a new year eve dinner with some of my friends. :P I've decided to make it one go.. :)

When I'm back here in kch, I'm so lazy to go everywhere.. haha.. Is it normal to feel this way?? lolx... I'm kinda tired to get dress up haha...

Miss home...

Arghh... I'm so stress... and I miss home.. I miss my bed though my bed here is quite comfy. I miss my family esp my mum n my nephews.

Everyone seems to be going back for Christmas... Well, so I am. I can't wait to go back for 3 days again. A short holidays before my 3 weeks long holidays for Chinese New Year. Christmas is less than 2 weeks more, which clearly indicate that Chinese New Year is also around the corner.

I just can't wait for Chinese New Year... :P I love the cookies that my mum made plus everyone seems to be very happy. I can't wait to have cny eve dinner but this time around, he'll not be able to join us. lolx.. he's going to miss out the good food that my mum n sis in laws cooked. haha.. :P means I can have everything to myself. haha.. jk.. I'm not that greedy.

Actually stress has starting to crawl into me now. I'm not sure why I always get headache. Crap.. Maybe I got nightmare last night about an evil puppet chasing me.. lolx... maybe cause I forgot to put my talisman beside me when I sleep.

Anyway, I miss Chillies food. My birthday is around the corner and this time, he won't be able to spend it with me lol.. So, I've decided to do some shopping for myself n for my parent. I'll have a retail therapy.. :)

I love typing my heart out. haha.. expressing myself emotionally. :P cause it seems like I let it go when there's no one else there to listen to my grumble. They have their own headache n problems so I'm not going to weight them more with mine. Right??

Phd, which is famously stand for Permanent Head Damage has slowly start to show it's meaning. haha.. JK... lol...

Maybe my life without a laptop is boring that's why I have so much time to think n think n think of stupid n foolish things. I just can't live without it. I can do lots of things with it. Chatting n watching series n movies with pps stream. lolx... now this make me miss it more.

anyway, I'll stop crapping and signing off now.

xoxo,
jen

First day reporting..

I reported myself as a research assistant for the 1st day. I think i'm loving what i'll be doing. We don't have a clock in clock out system, yeah.. hehe.. means if i got nth i can just stay at home doing my readings. :P My principal supervisor for my phd is a very nice guy. He told me he just want to see the outcome not bout me spending how many hours in the office tho.

I have 3 years to go.. wait.. 2 years and 11 ++ months to go. It'll past very fast i guess. 3 years down the line is nothing. But i'm kinda scare of the final viva for my phd. ( but only to be worried in 3 years time) haha...

anyway, gtg.. :)

xoxo,
jen

Back in Nottingham..

I'm back in nottingham. Satisfied with my accommodation which is like 2 mins walk to uni. I paid for rm300 only and its fully furnished. Super cheap if were to compare to uni accommodation, which is rm600.

I've spent the first week in KL with my mum. Super happy bout it. We've bought barnie dolls and water bottle for my baby nephew and my mum said that he is so happy that he carry it around. haha


I've met him last thursday, which was his graduation. Now, he's back in his hometown.

And, I'm going to start my work on monday. sob sob. that mark the end of my holiday and the beginning of my study + working life. nyway, signning off now...


xoxo, jen

hmm..

I can't find the appropriate words to describe this post. Nyway, just wanna drop by n let him know I miss him so much. He means a lot to me. He's my one and only elephant. hehe..

I confess that sometimes I'm like a roller coaster. There's ups and downs bout my feeling. Emo freak argh.. I'm so used to call him names that he hates. but still he forgive me n treat me better. I feel so bad bout it at times but I'm used to be so manja to him.. hehe

I do miss the time we had together. Really. I can't wait to meet him again in nov. :)

Love him lots,
jen.....

2 is better than 1

I remember what you wore on the day I fall in love with u,
I finally took the courage to take the first step,
You came into my life and I thought,
"Hey, you know, this could be something that I'm actually seeking for",
I was lost until I met you,
Cause everything you do and words you say,
You know that it all takes my breath away,
And now I'm left with nothing,
When you are far away,
It makes me restless to be without you,
I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes,
The way you taste,
You make it hard for me to breath,
Cause when I close my eyes and drift away,
I think of you and I know everything's okay,
I'm finally now believing,
Maybe it's true,
That I can't live without you,
Maybe two is better than one,
There's so much time,
To figure out the rest of my life,
But I'll figure it out,
When it's all said and done,
But now i know,
Two is better than one
With Me and You...

Mid Autumn Festival...

Sorry for this super duper late post.. :) I'd celebrated mid autumn festival at home.. :) with my family.. everyone made it.. my grandma, mum, aunties, uncles, bros, sis in laws, my cousins and my family friends. It was actually fun that my whole family as in me, my 2 bros and their families went shopping together at boulevard the day before the festival.

There's no doubt that my little cousins and nephews are obsessed with the lantern. Even my mum n sis in law played. haha

Whatever it'll be...

I have 2 weeks left in kch. Part of me misses what I have here while the other half make me feel so excited about the upcoming journey of my life.

I felt up and down a lot these days. I'm yet to understand how couple actually decided to get married. I know mine won't happened in at least 3 to 5 years. But being in a long distance relationship actually makes it harder especially the idd rate is super expensive calling from one country to another. Although technology are so advance these day with the existence of MSN and Skype, however, at times it needs the willingness of the 2 person to spend some time to communicate.

I'd realize how importance I am to him. As a rabbit myself, I'm trying to learn the fact of he's of the zodiac of rabbit too and this explains why family always come 1st to him. I actually don't hope so much from him anymore. I think if we are meant to be together, we'll be.

Btw, I'd found nice quote to comfort myself..

" Happiness is like a butterfly. The more u chase it, the more it will elude u. But if u turn ur attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on ur shoulder. "

not enough??

I've mixed feeling about everything. From everything surrounds my life. I know it I'm very lucky to have everything that some other people dying to wish for to come true. yeah, I''m feeling really lucky to have such a loving family, a loving bf who gives ways to me and etc..

Now, all that left for me to do is to appreciate every moment I have with them. :)

Blessed...

I'm so happy that I've finally got what I've always wanted. Another chance to study. Believe it or not? Haha.. I just got my unconditional offer letter from Nottingham about my Phd application. Yippie!~ I was accepted and offered a post as a research assistant while doing my Phd. :)

I felt that I'm truly blessed with everything I have despite at times I was feeling low and lost in my life especially during the time where everything seems to be just a dream.

However, I've yet to get my accommodation but I'd sent in my application form 2 days ago.

I've booked my flights to KL dy with such a cheap fare, RM115 one way via mas. :) I'm super duper happy and I'm feeling good bout everything right now.

Hanging on the edge..

DO you ever feel like you are hanging on the edge? All that left in this world is people looking at u weirdly. I hate people who make my mood bad. I hate it. Don't try to mess with me.

I hate people who don't answer their calls when they said they will wait for u.
I hate people who said he will wait but he just don't.
I hate people who say he cares but he never seems to be around.
I hate it when he tried to give tons of excuse just to get off of what he did to me.
I hate it when he said that he cares but he just seems to forget about me.

I feel that whats left in this world is for me just to run away from everything.

To be reveal

i'm now still waiting for something to be finalized :) Keeping my finger cross. I'm gonna be away for 3 years if it happened. :) hopefully.. :)

family....

I've been quite busy lately regarding my family matters and my own personal matters. It seems like everyone from my batch has started earning their own bucks whilst I'm still here being my parent's baby at home. :) I have other great plans for my future besides working.

However, no matter how much I have in my life, I'd learned to be humble and appreciate it. I'm so thankful for having such a loving family. Someone I can talk to and share my grumbles and happiness.

I'd learned that in life, we should be glad and thankful for whatever we have and we should treasure the relationships that we have with our parents, siblings, spouse and children as we only born once in life having that person as our parents, siblings, spouse and children. If we were to reborn again, it may not be the same person anymore who share that kind of relationship with us.

Sometimes, although we may argue with each other, but we can never break off the strong connection of us with them no matter what. They'll stay forever as your loved ones. Remember that. Therefore, we should try to forget and forgive as God can see what's true and believe in karma. Whatever happens may happened for a reason, but we'll still have the power to control over how we want it to be in the end. :)

To my dearest...

Happy Birthday, My Elephant..

Hope u have a nice one on the plane. :)

It's been almost a week since we are apart. I'm trying to get use to it and I'm doing just fine although I had a nightmare bout u leaving me for good.. lolx...

I really hope I could be by your side when you blow the candles for this birthday but sadly, I couldn't. But I hope that we could someday till we meet again.

love ya lots,
lovelyjen

Day out...

I've been busy lately doing stuff that I love the most from thinking too much bout the fact that I'll only meet him in a year time.

Things that I'd done include:

• Movie night with my bro n sis in law at the latest cinema in town, MBO at Spring. It's like 70 percent the one in KL, GSC. For KCH standard, it was way better than the existing one.
• Next off, lunches and dinners with my mum. We've been spending quality time together. :) My mum is like my best friend. She always try to understand me. :) Nyway, she's been teasing him on the phone bout my nephew crying in the airport cause of him. :) haha..
• Saloon time with my sis in law at the JENT'ZEN at the Spring. It's RM36 for wash and cut. :) Quite reasonable if were to compare to those other saloons in town.
• Brandon's bday treat at Richmond by my aunt moi. :)
• Play time with my baby nephew, Gerard and Albert.

But I still can't deny I miss Mr. Elephant a lot.. :(..

1st day apart.-

I miss his presence.
His constant nagging and teasing.
His love and care for me.
I miss everything about him.
He was the only person who made me in tears.
& the only person who made me smile.
The only person I miss whenever we're apart.
I know I must get use to it.
But I'm thankful enough to have know him.
So close and well.
Though we're apart, he'll always be close to me in my heart.
I love u, my elephant...
Till we meet again.

xoxo,
jen

The sadest day in my life

Dear Mr. Elephant,

I'm so sad...
It'll be another 365 +/- till we'll meet again.
Words just can't describe the feelings that we have and the memories that we share.
I'll always keep you close in my heart..
I'll keep my promise to u for things that u told me.

Love always,
jen

:)

My throat hurts whenever I try to swallow my saliva or eat smth. Nyway, been busy packing my stuff to head back to kch. Although my flight is on wed, I do the packing beforehand just in case I don't have time for it. I'm gonna miss my time here. :) all those bitter sweet memories. but life is about moving forward right??

Dream...

After few months being away from everything, it's time for me to wake up and decide what I really want in life. I wanna continue my studies for sure. But where? I realize all good things eventually will come to an end, but will memories keep us from falling apart? It's not easy to live up to others expectation and it's not easy to change others character and attitude. As the saying goes " Leopard will never change their spots"

Maybe it's time for me to stop hurting myself and you. I don't know cause all I realize is every time u say sorry, u never actually mean it. U never try to feel the way I feel. Maybe we are just dragging on cause we are so afraid to hurt each other. As for now, only time will tells.

Nyway, yeah.. I'm sad but I'll heal as time pass by.

esp for u :)

Chinese Cousine..

Up above is stir fried kailan with salted fish, which I love to cooked. All I used is just oil (preferably less cholesterol oil, garlic, kailan, a bit of salt and salted fish). :)


As for above is the ginseng black chicken, which is good for health. It's easy to cook as it may seem.
All you need is just half black chicken, dried red dates, "ka ci", a bit of salt and most importantly, ginseng roots. :)

Fullfillment

I'm having endless holidays after my exam in May. And up till now, I'm still applying for my postgraduate admission. I've tons of free time, which I used it to catch up with some old movies that I missed during my time in high school. Do you believe or not, I've never went to movies with my friends during my high school time. My free time apart from school were always fill with endless ballet classes, school band activities and tuitions.

Thinking back, I have always think I was pretty hardworking and determined to push myself to attend every single tuition classes, band activities and ballet classes during my time in high school. I had ballet classes up to 5 times a week and tuition classes for few subjects. Wondergirl huh?

I've always realized how hard my mum work and paid for my tuition fees and buying all the reference books for me. My dad was a businessman before he actually fall ill when I was 14. So, since then, my mum is the only person in my family to provide us food and necessities. Then, my brothers took over my dad's business and I must say I admire them for doing it well and not to give my parents anymore worries.

Fighting through my times in Diploma and uni was once an unforgotten experience for me. I can say I always think Studying is not only subjected for myself but for the honor of my family. And as I walked up to receive my prize and degree, I must say I'd finally fullfill one of the dreams that I had always dreamt of achieving. The feeling of fullfillment fills my heart and soul. :)

I love this notes..
There are 5 basic notes in music, 5 basic hues in colour, and five basic taste in food. Yet, with those combination of notes, hues and taste, they can create more varieties than one can ever hear, see or taste.

Graduation Ceremony 25/07/09

Finally, one of the most memorable day in my life came. I must have admit that it was rather an unforgettable journey in my life. It was once a chapter in my life, where I'd learned to grow much more mature in facing the reality and hardship in life. I was on my own most of the time and I'd always enjoyed being alone. U can call me weird somehow but I feel much comfortable rather than tolerating with people during hang out time. haha..

And it was a week ago, I had finally got my degree cert.. :) and I am honored to won the graduating student prize for my graduating civil batch by being the top in class for my graduating batch. :)



And here are some of the pics of me and my family and him. :)

1st class honour's students from my batch..

Me and Vincent, whom I've known since Diploma. He's a Mechanical Engineer now.

Me and some of my lecturers, whom taught me solid subjects such as hydro, structure and geotech. They are super duper genius. :)

It was the time when I received my graduating student prize for BEng Civil Eng from Prof Michael

Me and Tun, whom I've known since Diploma. He's a Myanmar and he has graduated in Degree of Electrical and Electronic..

Me and Yee Ting, whom I've known 2 years ago since I first enter Nott. She's a nice girl from pg. :)

wilton, jia wen, cheq and me..

I was so blur when the photographer asked me to pose for the self portrait. haha

My family with tun. :)

Me and Kiong, whom I've known since Diploma.

Me and him . :)

my sis in law, me and my mum in front of the grand palace..

sam, brian, me, chai ann and ting ting.They are taking Meng so they will be graduating next year.

And finally, me and my flowers. :)

I will never forget this memorable day. :)

Clothes - Online Shopping & Stores

I've found a lot of sites related to online shopping. In love with the clothes that they have and I'm tempted. But one thing I'd realize from the last time I'd ever purchased one piece of dress from online shopping is that the clothes may not as nice as the one shown in the site. Not only that, it doesn't really fit that well as it maybe too big or too small. If it's too big, it has to be send to the tailor to adjust the size that fit our body. But if it is too small, nothing can be done. lolx..

Some more, the quality of material may not be as good as the one you expect. It's like the one u can easily get in Sg Wang or Times Square for like RM25. For online clothes, it's the same type except it's more expensive. lolx...

That's why I told myself that I'll never buy any of them unless it's in front of me and I can feel the quality of the material.

As a student myself, I may not be possible to buy clothes from the famous Zara and forever 21 shops. I feel guilty to spend my parents money in that kind of way. I feel that it's bad to spend their hard earn money in that kind of way as there are other options available. Therefore, I go for NICHII, which is more affordable for me. MNG is kinda ok as I managed to grab a nice black pants for like RM69 during sales.


Not only that, with the price you pay for Zara or Forever 21, a nice shirt costs around RM 90 plus plus while for Nichii, it's half the price of it. lolx.. & Forever 21 clothes are mostly made in CHINA if you observed it carefully. :)

Can't wait...

My mum will be here for my graduation ceremony this Thursday.. Along side with my brother, sis in law and my uncle. It will be way fun. :) yay!~

I can't wait to spend time with them esp shopping haha.. Btw, I think my mum is more excited than I am for my graduation. :)

I just can't wait.. But I'm still struggling with my research proposal, which I need to be completed by tomorrow. Sigh..

Baby Nephew...

Isn't he is so adorable? He's the cutest thing in my family now. :) He's my baby nephew.. :) Baby Gerald.. :)




I saw this very nice baby shoes in KL and I brought it for him. Looked so cute. :)

NIce Meals..

We had this very nice dine out meal at Dave, One Utama and also our very own get together dinner.. :)

He cooked this chap choi, which tasted awesome. :) He's a great cook.

I cooked this chilli clam, which is very spicy. :)

& also this, black pepper chicken, whom my sis in law 2 taught me how to cook. :)

Prawns by him and Andy. The prawns taste so great. Love prawns so much.. :)

Besides that, we have Salad and mix vege by Andy. :)

Omg, I think I'm putting on weight. I just couldn't stop eating and resisting myself from food. I think I'd got influence by him. :) haha FOODAHOLIC..

Bad Boy's Birthday...

Last wed, we'd celebrated birthday of a friend of ours, Bad Boy, whom I've known from him. :)
We went to Red Box for karaoke for the lunch promotion and it only costs around RM14 per person including tax. The promotion includes set lunch and fruit buffet. :)

Bad Boy and his birthday cake..

The GUYS who tried hard to pose like the forgotten Taiwan band, F4.

Me and Toh.. A lot of girls think he's cute. What do you think?

Me and Him.. :)

Toh and Sylvester goofing around..

He seems to be happier be with Toh than be with me.. I'm jealous... lolx..

One of lovely couples from our gang.

& lastly, Me and Meraini.. :)

Realize..

Breathe you out
Breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
you're the one who could have been
and my eyes see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away but it never disappears
I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don't look back


I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without

I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under


And part of me still believes
When you ay you're gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
If you just couldn't trust me
and see me as a part of your life..

Just let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
I'll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
But it will open up for everyone but you

Home Sweet Home..

I'm back in kch.. :) It is really nice to see my family again. My baby nephew is so cute. :) THat's why I've plan to spend my whole day tmr to be with him.. :)

Kuching seems to progress in a pretty fast pace especially in term of developmet, restaurant and clubs. But the cinema here is still lousy if were to compare to the one in west MAlaysia, GSC... :)


Nyway, he's came back with me for 3 days and he's back in KL dy. :) We've meet up with our ex college friends. It's really nice to see that some of my friends have gf dy. Really glad. :)

LENKA- THE SHOW

Love this song so much... :) whenever I'm listening to this song, I feel very happy. :) The rhythm is wonderful and the voice is beautiful haha :)

For someone who feel down at the moment esp in love, this song is a great song to cheer you up. :) Life still goes on no matter how hard it is. Just appreciate that you still have chance to live your life. When you fall, get yourself up and promise yourself you'll be stronger than ever.

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
and I don’t know why

Slow it down make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
‘cuz it’s too much, yeah it’s a lot
to be something I’m not

I’m a fool out of love
‘Coz I just can’t get enough

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
I can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy The Show

The sun is hot in the sky
just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It’s a joke nobody knows
They’ve got a ticket to that show …yeah

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
and I don’t know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
it’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
oh oh
Just enjoy the show
oh oh

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Dum de dum dudum de dum
Just enjoy The Show

Dum de dum dudum de dum
Just enjoy The Show

I want my money back
Just enjoy The Show

I want my money back
Just enjoy The Show

Endless love...

Decode for me, the most mystic waiting.
The stars have fallen, and the wind is blowing.
Finally, I can embrace you again,
Two hearts vibrating.
Believe me, my heart has never changed.
Thousand years of waiting with my promise,
No matter how many cold winters have passed,
I will never let go.

Every night, my heart is pierced by pain.
My thought of you has no end.
Long been accustomed to the following by loneliness,
I use smile to face it.
Believing in me, you choose to wait.
No matter how much pain you have felt, you never give up.
Only your softness can save me
From the endless coldness.

Now tightly hold my hands, and close your eyes.
Please think about the times when we were deeply in love.
Because we loved too much,
That is why we have been in such pain.
We cannot even say the words “love you” to each other.

Let the love that is in our hearts
Become that ever-blossoming flower
Together we travel through the endless space and time, never bowing our heads. A dream we never give up.


Because we loved too much,
That is why we have been in such pain.
We cannot even say the words “love you” to each other.



Let the love that is in our hearts
Become that ever-blossoming flower


We should never ever forget the promises we had.


Only true love follows you and me
Travelling through the endless space and time.


We cannot even say the words “love you” to each other.


Love is the only myth that is in the hearts that never changes.

Photoshop

Me without any make up on

One thing I'd never try with my pictures is to have them to be photoshop in anyway. I find it rather amaze by girls or ladies out there who love photoshop. Maybe I just feel confident by the way I look. :) haha.

I rather my pics to be taken naturally with the make up that I have but I'm not against girls out there who love photoshopping.

He actually told me that I looked way better without make up on. :) I'll only make up on special occasion. Most of the time I'll be going out without any make up but only with sunblock.

Anyway, I'm really admire ladies who invest most of their time to look better but please, don't overdo it with a very red lipstick and red blusher. It'll make you way older.