Annoyed

First of all, I don't get annoyed easily. I'll rarely get angry unless someone step on my back. That's what I went through today.

It's not easy working with people in the same lab who think he owns the lab. Someone who has an attitude problem but too arrogant to realize it himself. Sometime, I just wish that he knows how bitchy he is. haha..

He tried to dominate everything and give reasons on why he should act like a bitch. When he is stress, he tried to put his stress on other people. Hey, why can't he realize not only him is rushing to complete his work and he tried to put his stress on others when he don't get his way.

Everyone who step into the lab hope to complete on time. But I'm sure most of us learn how to compromise.

I'm so annoyed by the way he talked to me today. Such a bitch. He didn't even realize that he is the one who took out my sample yesterday that suppose to oven dried for a day. I tried to just forget bout it but he talked to me so rudely first like a dog barking. I tried to tell him i just took his one out today so i can dry mine and he said we suppose to share the oven and he is rushing for his project.

The oven can fit in 9 trays. Yesterday, He took 1 out of 5 mine out and put in his one. So he got 5 and I got 4. So today, to be fair, I took all of mine and one of his one out to put in another 5 of mine. He said its not fair. Is it not fair?

AM I NOT RUSHING? AND I TOLD HIM GO TOUCH HIS OWN BLOODY TRAY THAT IS STILL HOT. So annoyed.

GIving up

I no longer trust myself anymore. I'm giving up. I don't even see faith in believing things will work out like the way they should. It's not only people who turn their back on me. I'm turning my back on myself. My life is finally screwed. Guess no one will understand how I feel.

This is the hardest path I've chosen and I can't get through this. I know life is never easy but I never guess it will be this tough.

Anyway, I'll try to put on a smiley face and pretend everything will be fine. But as saying goes, one can never cheat her heart.

over stressed

I'm on a deadline to submit my beam design and I came across errors over what I have worked on.. I'm so angry at myself that I made such a stupid mistake. But errors are always errors, I need to correct everything and start all over the design again. :(

Now, I feel that I'm mentally stressed out.. Pity my calculator and him for being my punch bag.

Woke up...

I wanna share this with you. A very nice song by park bom.. Just describe exactly how I feel for him. :) You and I together just feel so right.. :)



Time kinda past so fast... I'm freaking out... I have 4 months to go before my deadline.. If feel just like yesterday I just entered into Phd.. And, I'm rushing to do my lab work and submission report. I have no idea yet what should I write for it. lolx.. But all I know I should start writing something.

I need to keep myself busy.. Finally, I feel a slap on my cheek that I should wake up from my relaxing mode. haha...

Sunday...

Like any other sunday... :( Time to charge my energy with endless nap. :) Life as a phd student is indeed mentally challenging.. I'm coping up with my basics that I have long forgotten.. Watched toy story 3 yesterday.. Love it but the babydoll creeps me out.. remind me of the horror flick bout chucky.. haha..

I wish that I can save more money.. I have some stuff I wish to buy.. :( But my monthly allowance is a bit tight.. I have a new car to pay, rental n food. :(

Speaking bout my new car, yup.. Love it white.. The new vios desirable.. with the number I feel satisfy with the num in chinese, simply means continuous wealth forever. :)


Btw, i took this studio pic last week in a kimono.. :) With a hair tied up and make up, I think I looked different. :)

Weekend..

It's Sunday. So yeah, tmr I need to go to my civil eng lab again from 9.30am to 5.30pm, 5 days a week. I love lab. Especially the part mixing the cement, sand , ops and water. I love the part when everything I did looks right although I'm not sure what result will I get at the end of the day.

But one thing bout the civil eng lab is it's hot, as in oven hot unless it's raining. Unlike those EE and ME labs, we do not have airconds. Lol..We only have the industrial fans. But again, I should just feel glad with what I have. The uni gave me a 100% scholarship for my Phd and I'm given allowance every month as a job as a Research Assistant. Nothing I should be complain of though.

I've spoke to Vincent bout our Phd. He's the ME guy, who's also taking Phd. I guess Phd is never easy when everything is on our own. It's just like we have this weight on our shoulder.

I miss exams, where lecturers will give us notes on what to study and not. The interesting part of it is looking for extra info. I miss those days where I prepare myself for the finals. Those nerve of what is coming out and what's not keep me guessing and pushed myself harder to learn. And finally, the moment the exam begins, when I fliped open the papers, it seems like everything just blurted out from my brain and my hand is making wonders on the papers. aha... I guess I miss the time when the results are out. :)

Nothing is easy. But I guess exams is like a battlefield. Know your enemy well and you are destined to win. If you and your enemy is even, your battle will be also even. If you do not know the enemy well, I guess you are bound to lose. Smth remarkable I've learned from SunTzu, who have written the art of war. I do wish myself knowing Chinese lol.. The beautiful thing of Chinese language is most of the wisdom books are written in that language. It's not easy to even find the closest meaning to translate in eng. Everyone interprets differently.

Anyway, for those who is taking exams. All the best. :)

A picture of life..

After 3 months from my knee surgery, I had gone through roller coaster and learn to realize that I only live for myself. My family was always there for me. If without them, i do not know how i could deal with it.

As harsh as reality can be, Life is indeed fragile. Some innocent people seems to have ended their life not because they wanted it to. It's because of some other irresponsible people who drive recklessly(drink n drive) and the hurt people and try to get away with it. Therefore, NEVER EVER DRINK AND DRIVE.

nyway, I'm back in uni for work. Time seems to pass so fast that I'm freaking out that I have only 2 and half year time to complete my phd and I've not started with any thing. I'm starting to feel the stress of research. It's a lot worse than studying for final exams. For degree, we are given notes for final exams and the thing I'm doing now has no exact answer of whether I'm in the right path or not. I wishes that I still have the heart to go on with whatever I'm doing now. :(

Just got to get myself be more hardworking and drag myself to civil lab everyday from today onwards. :(

First day reporting..

I reported myself as a research assistant for the 1st day. I think i'm loving what i'll be doing. We don't have a clock in clock out system, yeah.. hehe.. means if i got nth i can just stay at home doing my readings. :P My principal supervisor for my phd is a very nice guy. He told me he just want to see the outcome not bout me spending how many hours in the office tho.

I have 3 years to go.. wait.. 2 years and 11 ++ months to go. It'll past very fast i guess. 3 years down the line is nothing. But i'm kinda scare of the final viva for my phd. ( but only to be worried in 3 years time) haha...

anyway, gtg.. :)

xoxo,
jen

Back in Nottingham..

I'm back in nottingham. Satisfied with my accommodation which is like 2 mins walk to uni. I paid for rm300 only and its fully furnished. Super cheap if were to compare to uni accommodation, which is rm600.

I've spent the first week in KL with my mum. Super happy bout it. We've bought barnie dolls and water bottle for my baby nephew and my mum said that he is so happy that he carry it around. haha


I've met him last thursday, which was his graduation. Now, he's back in his hometown.

And, I'm going to start my work on monday. sob sob. that mark the end of my holiday and the beginning of my study + working life. nyway, signning off now...


xoxo, jen

not enough??

I've mixed feeling about everything. From everything surrounds my life. I know it I'm very lucky to have everything that some other people dying to wish for to come true. yeah, I''m feeling really lucky to have such a loving family, a loving bf who gives ways to me and etc..

Now, all that left for me to do is to appreciate every moment I have with them. :)

Blessed...

I'm so happy that I've finally got what I've always wanted. Another chance to study. Believe it or not? Haha.. I just got my unconditional offer letter from Nottingham about my Phd application. Yippie!~ I was accepted and offered a post as a research assistant while doing my Phd. :)

I felt that I'm truly blessed with everything I have despite at times I was feeling low and lost in my life especially during the time where everything seems to be just a dream.

However, I've yet to get my accommodation but I'd sent in my application form 2 days ago.

I've booked my flights to KL dy with such a cheap fare, RM115 one way via mas. :) I'm super duper happy and I'm feeling good bout everything right now.

To be reveal

i'm now still waiting for something to be finalized :) Keeping my finger cross. I'm gonna be away for 3 years if it happened. :) hopefully.. :)

Fullfillment

I'm having endless holidays after my exam in May. And up till now, I'm still applying for my postgraduate admission. I've tons of free time, which I used it to catch up with some old movies that I missed during my time in high school. Do you believe or not, I've never went to movies with my friends during my high school time. My free time apart from school were always fill with endless ballet classes, school band activities and tuitions.

Thinking back, I have always think I was pretty hardworking and determined to push myself to attend every single tuition classes, band activities and ballet classes during my time in high school. I had ballet classes up to 5 times a week and tuition classes for few subjects. Wondergirl huh?

I've always realized how hard my mum work and paid for my tuition fees and buying all the reference books for me. My dad was a businessman before he actually fall ill when I was 14. So, since then, my mum is the only person in my family to provide us food and necessities. Then, my brothers took over my dad's business and I must say I admire them for doing it well and not to give my parents anymore worries.

Fighting through my times in Diploma and uni was once an unforgotten experience for me. I can say I always think Studying is not only subjected for myself but for the honor of my family. And as I walked up to receive my prize and degree, I must say I'd finally fullfill one of the dreams that I had always dreamt of achieving. The feeling of fullfillment fills my heart and soul. :)

I love this notes..
There are 5 basic notes in music, 5 basic hues in colour, and five basic taste in food. Yet, with those combination of notes, hues and taste, they can create more varieties than one can ever hear, see or taste.

Graduation Ceremony 25/07/09

Finally, one of the most memorable day in my life came. I must have admit that it was rather an unforgettable journey in my life. It was once a chapter in my life, where I'd learned to grow much more mature in facing the reality and hardship in life. I was on my own most of the time and I'd always enjoyed being alone. U can call me weird somehow but I feel much comfortable rather than tolerating with people during hang out time. haha..

And it was a week ago, I had finally got my degree cert.. :) and I am honored to won the graduating student prize for my graduating civil batch by being the top in class for my graduating batch. :)



And here are some of the pics of me and my family and him. :)

1st class honour's students from my batch..

Me and Vincent, whom I've known since Diploma. He's a Mechanical Engineer now.

Me and some of my lecturers, whom taught me solid subjects such as hydro, structure and geotech. They are super duper genius. :)

It was the time when I received my graduating student prize for BEng Civil Eng from Prof Michael

Me and Tun, whom I've known since Diploma. He's a Myanmar and he has graduated in Degree of Electrical and Electronic..

Me and Yee Ting, whom I've known 2 years ago since I first enter Nott. She's a nice girl from pg. :)

wilton, jia wen, cheq and me..

I was so blur when the photographer asked me to pose for the self portrait. haha

My family with tun. :)

Me and Kiong, whom I've known since Diploma.

Me and him . :)

my sis in law, me and my mum in front of the grand palace..

sam, brian, me, chai ann and ting ting.They are taking Meng so they will be graduating next year.

And finally, me and my flowers. :)

I will never forget this memorable day. :)