Everything I bottled out inside of me burst out last night when I have time alone with him. After bursting out, I feel much better bout the doubts and problems I have in me. For almost 2 months, I didn't realize I was actually depressed and been thinking too much bout " what if "? It was killing me softly and deeply with me being emo most of the time and I had finally put a fullstop to everything I was thinking.
I feel so much better. I have so many other stuff to think off and I realize that life is a game. So, I gotta play it well. It's a a game of mentality rather than physically. If I have only an extra second in this world, why not I be more happy rather than sad with things that will not be happening soon. Right?
Anyway, I'm very happy to have him in my life. Though at time he puts me off and telling me off, but he has one genuine intention, which makes him very special compare to other people in my life, cause he's the only person who loves me at a time and telling me what I have done wrong cause he actually care bout me. So, from the moment he was beside me when I burst, I knew how sad he was to see me in that condition and he cares bout me. I saw his eyes were red but he was man enough to hold back from letting his tears drop as he always tell me crying will not solve the problems.
For him,
"no matter what our future will b, I believe as you said.. Castle can't be built without sweats and tears, so don't ever let me go when u see me falling cause you are the person in the world I can only cling to. "
love lots,
jen
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