shop for the sky, but stuck at the ground...

I dunno where I'm at. I'm tired of waiting. Waiting here in line and hope that I'll find what I'm chasing. Been shopping for the sky but I'm stuck at the ground. I thought I could fly. :(

Not ready to let go. But I never know what my life will take me if I do let go. But I could not get what I'm wishing. Then, why should I try?

YippIe!~

I'm going back to kch on 17th dec. I can't wait. It's days before xmas and new year so it's time for my season retail therapy. I brought 2 boots. One normal knee length boots and the other one is military boots. Love them lots. Be posting them up when I'm free.

Besides that, I brought few dresses, which add into the collection that I have yet to wear. Maybe I can keep them for cny. ANd not forgetting 2 handbags. Love them. I think I might turned into a shopaholic. haha..

But i guess it's ok since I did not buy any make up stuff for the past few months. I don;t c the need of buying cause I have MAC foundation, prime and pearl glow cream, Chanel lipstick ( a gift from someone), branded BB cream, Stage make up range from eyeshadow and etc, LAncome eyeliner, make up remover and mascara ( gift from mandy), and etc..

Btw, I think I'm been to lazy. I know next week I'll be very busy. 2 coursework and 2 lab report to be marked. I guess I need to bring them back to KCH lol.. N a report that I need to work really hard on so it'll look perfect to be submitted.

:(

I think I might have lost my hp :(... I couldn't find it anywhere in my room or in the car. I hope I can recover it back. Maybe it's in the lab. I don't wanna lost it cause I don't wanna buy a new one.

I'm trying to put pieces of my report together. I need to complete as much as I can before I go back kch. So now till 17th, I'll be very very busy with beam testing and concrete trial mix.

Make my heart a better place

I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh, why don't I ever learn?
I've lost all my trust
Though I've surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe

Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now
Don't let it close

I'm here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
From turning it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe

Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place

I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear, don't tear me down

Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place

Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe

Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place

Life is like a ferris wheel

I feel so tired. Maybe my high expectation and hopes on the one I loves constantly hurt them in the end. I think I expect too much from them, which in end if they can't make it, I blame them back for that. I feel it isn't right so I'll try my best to change. Maybe it's time for me to put myself in their shoes and think about the reason why they did that.

I was sick yesterday. I guess the reason I am sick is that my wisdom teeth is growing. It hurt so bad till I had migraine. :( Luckily, my friend was kind enough to pass me the panadol before I can settle down to sleep for about 12 hours without any aircond on. I feel much better after I woke up this morning.

It was raining this morning. How I miss those early morning rain which makes me miss the lectures and opt to stay in bed when I was in degree. I have Year 3 student lab this morning 9 am so I have no choice but to drag myself to get ready for labs.

I wish I have all it takes to complete my phd. :( A lot of hardwork. It's like cooking. A mix of hardwork and determination and knowledge in a pot and let them boil.

I might be at the bottom now. But I'm sure one day I'll be at the top of the ferris wheel again looking at the world around me.

Can't wait for xmas

Been around KL for the past few days and there are deco of xmas around. Times Square and Pavilion has setup their xmas decos.

Love the one in pavilion. Very Very pretty with flowers, rain deers, and xmas trees.

Times square has deco of ginger bread house and xmas trees..

I can't wait for xmas. I'm not sure where I'll be at that time but I know my heart is looking forward to be at home. What is xmas without family and friends,right? It's time of gathering, with lots of food, and love.

Love Darren..

Nice song from Glee.. Love Darren.. :)


You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

1st day back

It's so nice to be back even though it'll be only 5 days. Today is the 2nd day of my trip back. I'm catching up with my report while spending time with my family. My family has close friend who is indian and they are celebrating Deepavali. Believe or not, they can speak our hokkien dialect and mandarin.

My 1st bro treated me for a body massage yesterday. My sis in law, my 1st bro and me has a body massage for 1 hour. Very relaxing. After that, we went for tea time at old town coffee.

Besides that, my 2nd bro treated me kolo bee hon with fried chicken for breakfast yesterday. My 2nd sis in law made fried banana for us which is yummy.

SO happy that I'm back :) love them so much. my nephew are so cute and handsome. :) haha

back in kch

i think i must be crazy haha.. i came back to kch last minute. 24 hours ago I brought my ticket last minute and after 2 hours, I rush to the airport to catch my flight back to kch. I will be here till wed morning. It's holiday in KL today cause its deepavali. I couldn't help but miss home. I'm back to see how's my family is doing here. They are the dearest to me now. If money can buy time with them, why not? They are the closest persons to me. After what I went through, I feel my parent stay 1st in my heart. No one will ever love me and sayang me as much as they do. That's why I believe. Parent we have only 1 in our life but boyfriend, we can have many if we want. So, no one can ever replace my parent cause no one can change the fact that they are my parent forever. :)

Memory of a broken past

I can't help watching this mv over and over again. The lead actor face remind me of someone who is so dear to me. He looked exactly like 'him'. I couldn't help to be shocked and in tears the 1st time I watched this mv. And till now, it still bring tears to me. 'He' thought me how to fall in love. Although I lost 'him' forever and I have no chance to ever see him again, I still have memories of 'him' that I hold on till now. It's been 7 years and I still remember how 'he' looked like. :(

I mentioned in my post "Grief" before of 'him'.

Tuesday

It's only tuesday and my body are so tired. I have student lab 3 times a week, 2 hours for each session. That is ok but for my own lab work, it's so tiring. Grrr... Imagine yourself weighting all the materials for concrete mixing. MIx them, put them in the mould and vibrate them. I'm not talking bout a small size of material. I have around 140 kg mixes each time I cast. I'm so so tired.
I know I shouldnt complain, but I have lesser sleep than usual. Maybe that's the reason triggered my tiredness.

I can't wait for Nov, Dec, Jan and Feb.. Yesh!~!~ My mum is coming in nov. In dec, there's xmas n new year. I'm going to singapore with Kelly in jan. and there's chinese new year for feb. Yesh..
I know I should be working hard cause my report is going to due in feb. :(

How I wish I have casted the beams I need for this year so I have sufficient stuff to put in my report. SO far, 42 pages and I'm struggling. :( I saw some senior writing their one up to 100 plus pages. How is it possible?

Vampire Diaries

Apart from the book that I have yet to finished, I'm currently obsessed with the VAmpire Diaries.. It is so much better than Twilght. The lead actress is so much prettier than Bella from Twilight. :) And there is a vampire named after Damon, who resemble Nate from gossip girl.

The vampire diaries's storyline are written better compared to twilight. :) I'm catching up with the season 1. The recent out one is season 2.

Get it all out from my heart

I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep every other night. I'm in a relationship that I feel like wanna give up. I have been going over n over about the decisions whether to leave or stay. He doesn't even know how hard this is for me. Friends have been telling me that no one is perfect. I'm a serious person and I take things seriously. I don't want to be in the relationship that I know one day I'll end up nowhere.

I'm tired and I wish I know what I should do. :(

Recent collection

I'm getting all nerd up on my recently purchased books. One of the highly recommended one is the eat pray love. :) I know I should not miss the movie but then, the book itself is so nice. The other 2 books from JOhn gray, in green and orange are men are from mars and women are from venus. :)

I can't remember the last time I'm so in loved in reading except my uni text books. haha.. :) Perhaps, many years back when I was a teenage. I used to love Singapore Horror books and some teenage romance books. I never read Harry Potter cause I fall asleep after reading the first few pages.

sat...

it's sat.. I'm doing my laundry now. PLan to have vegetarian food today. :) I just watched vampires suck and it's actually sucks, I fast forward most of the time cause the jokes are kind of lame.

I've tested 2 beams yesterday and it turned out fine. :) It failed the way I hope it would. I have more labs to conduct next few weeks. I'm a bit shy when it comes to talking in front of plp. But I guess I need to get used to it.

I had carrot juice with milk and I plan to make more later for dinner. I have lots of carrot in my fridge. I wonder whether it will make my skin orangish haha.

I have lots of journals that I need to catch up with. I know I should not be lazy and know this is my priorities. But I'm so tempted to read the book "EAt, Pray, Love", I can't stop myself from continuing reading it. Love the way the author tells the story in the way that she wrote it as if the reader is in her shoes. :) I got the book from Border.

a day at work

As usual, I do not know what to eat for my breakfast apart a few piece of biscuits and soya bean drink. I feel so tired although I slept for 8 hours last night. I'm hungry but I don't know what to eat for lunch. The food at cafeteria are alright but it's to small to accommodate thousand of students there during lunch time. So, here I am telling myself. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'M NOT HUNGRY.

My friend, Jessica said that she's going to have vegetarian food tonight. So, I'm thinking of following her and I'm so excited. :)

I met my supervisor at 10am just now to discuss the mix design. I told him that I'm thinking to take leave in mid of dec and he seems alright. :)

I have my 1st year progress report to do and I wish to complete it by mid of jan so I can hand it in before cny. As, I'm thinking of having a long break for cny. :) I miss home.. I miss the food there. I think I've dropped at least 1 kg or 2 kg from the day I'm back from kch.

My lab work of casting beams are done for a small part and I've tested 1 beam but the results worries me. How I wish that I can hit refresh back to design so I can be able to design the beams with more rebars. :(

Mix Feeling

I accidentally cut my finger while I was trying to cut the carrot to make juice. The cut itself is 1cm long and depth 0.3 cm. It was pain and bleeding. Bleed a lot but after a while, I realized it wasn't as pain as the time I dislocated my knee. So it was alright. I guess I went through a lot for my knee injury and somehow, it increased my pain tolerance. There I was putting on handiplast. :( I cut my finger twice in the lab too and now, both hand has plaster on. :(

I'm having lab demonstration tomorrow for the Year 1 undergrads and it'll be on every wednesday till end of Nov. Not only that, I have concrete mixing lab with the Year 3 undergrads. So, wish me luck guys. I'm new in this so let see how things go.

It's 12.40 am and it's quite unusual for me to stay up this late. I drank a cup of coffee around 9 pm so I'm not sleepy yet. I need to prepare the concrete mix design answer by this Thurs. I'm kinda worry bout my phd too. I'm worried that I'm not on the right path. :( Hope everything will turn out ok. :(

I think I need pain killer for my back pain and my finger so I can go to sleep later. Some of my friends from Unimas and Swinburne graduated. :) If u are reading this, just wanna say U guys did a great job and Congrats to those who have graduated. :)

A day in my shoes

Both of my legs feel so sore and tired from standing in the lab the whole day from 10 am till 6.30 pm. Casted another 3 beams today. I'm so tired. I guess I'll be heading to bed soon. Tomorrow I have lab again. Need to wash oil palm shell and sieve the sand.

I miss home. I miss my bed. I woke up middle of night last night cause my back hurts. The bed here is hard. :( I miss my house closet too. The closet here is too small for me. :( I miss home cook food. I miss metahon, a kind of dessert can be found in kch. I miss my little nephew calling me Kor Kor ( it means aunty)

I guess what I'm writing here is journalism. ( A way of expressing my needs, complains and etc)

I had soya milk for breakfast, mix rice and lipton red tea for lunch and homemade egg cheese sandwich and carrot and apple milk juice for dinner.

Talking bout food, I'm quite fussy when it comes to food. I prefer eating at home rather than outside cause I dislike if the food is cooked very oily and with msg. I don't use msg when I cook at home cause msg always make me feel so thirsty in the middle of the night and make me wake up seeking for water.

Besides that, I try to have some milk everyday. I know my knee are still healing so I guess it needs more calcium. I love coffee and milk tea. :) lipton milk tea tastes so good. :) and when it comes to vege, I prefer kailan rather than other type of vege. For fishes, I love salmon, both raw and cooked. For eggs, I love kampung egg, it taste much better. and chicken, kampung chicken, cause it has less fat.

Argh, my legs are tired. SUper tired. :( I have 12 hours rest before I head back to lab. I guess my life now is like a routine. 10am till 6 pm lab.. 6pm till 8pm bath, wash my hair,prepare dinner, 8pm till 10.30pm movies and dramas, internet, facebook, after 10.30 pm or 11 pm, zzzz. and dreams

I'm tired but I'm glad I have the chance to experience what I'm doing currently. I'm also happy for my classmates who found their job. :) It proved that nottingham graduates have no problem in seeking jobs. :) congrats :)

nyway, I love the sentence below. It somehow make me believe in love again. I realized that love requires lots of patience.
By day one way, by night another. This shall be done till I meet my true love..

I believe GOD has plans for everyone. We shall do what we are capable of, and something we have interest in. Try not to force yourself by doing something you dislike or be with the person who you think you do not love but just for the sake that you think he treats you the best. Love is a 2 way train, not a one way train, remember that.

Okie, it's almost time for my sleep. Nites everyone. Hope u will have a great day tomorrow. :)

Weekend

Another weekend is here again. It's an hour till sunday.I love weekend. I have time by myself, relaxing and catching up with movies.

I got my extenuation approval from my faculty so my report will be extended till feb for submission.

I'll be helping lecturers for lab demonstration every wednesday. It's my 1st time so I hope everything will go well. All is well. :)

I tried to send my car for car wash but crap, the car wash people tried to charge me RM25 for wash, vacuum and dashboard shine. Too expensive so I decided to hold it till next week then I wash.

I'm in desperate need of losing some weight here. Been eating a lot these days. It's not really to say I have to, but I figured it out I'll look better if I do. haha..

I'm kinda worry bout my lab results too. :( I'm not sure it's the one I suppose to get or not.

Btw, my knee seems to get better but it still feel unnormal. And the problem is, my other knee seems to be tired and painful some time. I'm trying to get them rested by walking less and prevent myself from carry heavy stuff. And I feel that my back strained cause the nerve seems to be pulling some time. :( Maybe due to the heavy load that I need to carry sometime in the lab. Sometime, I wish that I'm a guy. :(

I still have another 2 years to survive through this PHD. I hope everything will go well.

3 idiots..

Love this movie so much. So inspiring and very funny too. U should take some time off and watch this. :)

I laughed so much when I was watching it. haha


This movie starring Amir khan.

One of the nice quote : Don't chase after success. Be a good engineer and success will come afte you. :)

And below attached is one of the most funny part from the movie.